Friday 18 March 2016 by Neil Tollfree

Iain Duncan Smith resigns to focus on recording album of Eurosceptic jazz


Iain Duncan Smith resigns

The ex-Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith’s first project after dramatically quitting the Government is to record an album of avant-garde Eurosceptic Jazz.

“Iain’s always loved jazz music,” said a close personal friend.

“And throughout his life he’s wanted express his deep discontent with the European project through the medium of modernist, avant-garde jazz music.”

The album’s centrepiece is a nine-minute cacophonous symphony of saxophone and guitar called ‘Euroshits’ and features Mr Duncan Smith improvise an impassioned scat that deconstructs the bureaucracy inherent within the EU and culminates in him simply screaming ‘Euroshits,’ repeatedly over and over again, whilst a discordant piano thunders in the background.

“Yes, ‘Euroshits’ was the key,” continued the friend.

“He’d been working on it for the past year, and I think finalising it was possibly the catalyst that led to his quitting the Government today.

“Because obviously he couldn’t give a toss about the disabled.”

The album, whose other tracks bear titles such as ‘Christ, I hate the French,’ ‘Belgian biscuit bastard,’ and ‘Put a bra on Frau,’ is expected to be released before the EU referendum and will be available on iTunes, CD and limited 180g vinyl.

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