Wednesday 16 March 2016 by Davywavy

Ku Klux Klan Grand Wizard announces plan to become a lich


Lich Ku Klux Klan

The Grand Wizard of the Klu klux klan has reached 18th level and now intends to become a Lich, he has announced.

David Duke passed the critical hurdle and gained the Craft Wondrous Item feat after drowning some kittens for the XP yesterday, and now plans to begin work on a phylactery as soon as possible.

Lichdom is only available to the most powerful and evil of wizards so Duke is seen as a shoo-in for the change, although outsiders have suggested he might struggle to construct a safe repository for his soul due to the fact he doesn’t have one in the first place.

The ritual also requires multiple acts of monstrous evil, so his time in the Klan should have set him up nicely.

“Achieving Lichdom is a time-consuming and unholy process, so he put some early legwork in with all that cross-burning,” we were told.

“Plus he’s already got some pretty snazzy robes, a diabolical cackle and the chill touch of death, so it’s likely the process will come naturally to him.”

When asked how he felt about his Presidential Campaign being endorsed by a monstrous lord of the un-dead, Donald Trump said he didn’t know anything about that as he only plays Vampire: The Masquerade.

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