Tuesday 15 March 2016 by Gary Stanton

Dog with two noses says Osborne’s budget reeks of bullshit


Dog with two noses smells budget

A dog with four nostrils has detected a pungent odour coming from George Osborne’s red box.

Toby, a two year-old Border Collie, has a nose that is perfectly adapted for sniffing out Tory bullshit, even if it’s concealed in a battered leather case.

And when owner Simon Williams took him on his morning walk around Whitehall, the dog went berserk as they passed Downing Street.

Williams says the hound began frantically pawing at the door of No. 11 Downing Street before the pair were removed by police.

Williams said, “He’s normally an affectionate dog who loves hugs and playing catch unless it’s with Eton-educated right-wing scum.

“The last time he behaved like this was near a waste paper basket containing Iain Duncan Smith’s CV.”

Toby said: “Grrrr… tax cuts for the rich, raids on pensions – I can smell it coming a mile off.

“Osborne claims to balance the books while maintaining public services – the only way he can do that is by hiking rates on Winalot Mixer.

“It’s time for this discredited Chancellor to throw us a bone.

“Woof.”

Toby recently faced the prospect of being put to sleep when Osborne’s savage cuts forced the closure of his rescue centre.

Osborne quipped, “Ah yes – Toby the two-nosed dog. Tell me – how does he smell? “

Toby added: “Fuck off.”

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: