Friday 11 March 2016 by Gary Stanton

Jesus was worried about immigration, insists Archbishop of Canterbury


Justin Welby Jesus immigrants

It’s not racist to be worried about immigration because Jesus Christ shares your concerns, according to the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby.

In a speech yesterday, Welby said Jesus spent a great deal of his time on Earth fretting about an influx of economic migrants from places like Judea and Sodom.

And Welby insisted that if Jesus were alive today, he would favour a robust immigration policy of the ‘one in one out’ variety.

“Obviously, he is alive, but you get my point?” he added.

Welby said the Biblical era was a time of mass migrations that placed a colossal strain on local services.

“Many of these people couldn’t even speak fucking English,” he told us.

The Archbishop believes Christ’s stance on immigration was hardened when one of the Apostles at the Last Supper noticed the waiter was Polish.

Welby continued, “The meal itself would have been spent discussing the impact of immigration on jobs, housing and primary school places.”

However the Head of the Church of England wouldn’t be drawn on whether Jesus would be in favour of Britain leaving the EU.

Welby added, “Jesus knew that to be worried about immigration is human and that reinforcing borders with tanks and miles of barbed wire is just common sense.

“Why do you think Heaven has gates?”

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: