Thursday 10 March 2016

Teeth not worth the effort


Brushing teeth a pain in the arse

Your teeth are actually a massive pain in the arse.

Studies have shown that the massive amounts of time, effort and expense in keeping the little bastards white and not bleeding probably isn’t really worth it.

“Yeah, just leave them,” confirmed Dr. Roger Buggerington-Smith.

“If they get really bad then you can have them ripped out and replaced for about the cost of a used Ford Fiesta, which still costs less than a lifetime’s worth of toothpaste, floss and mouthwash.

“At the end of the day it’s a massive amount of money for mint flavoured shite that you can’t eat, and money is definitely more important than teeth.

“Unless you’re the tooth fairy, but she’s clearly an idiot.”

Tooth owner, Simon Williams, said “I always knew it was a con. Ever since my dentist encouraged me to floss.”

“Have you ever tried flossing? You’re basically garrotting your own gums for no good reason.

“Anyway, the nightmare’s over now. Let the little fuckers rot.”

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