Wednesday 9 March 2016 by Gary Stanton

Relaxing ban on silencers will promote less noisy killing sprees, insists NRA


NRA, silencers

The National Rifle Association has called for a relaxation of the ban on silencers in a bid to promote more peaceful mass murder.

Gun fans are campaigning for all guns to carry silencers using the argument ‘murder is less bad if you don’t know it’s happening’.

The NRA contends that many school lessons in the US are disrupted by loud, repetitive gunfire resulting in poor concentration and lower end-of-year SAT scores.

It also blames the acoustics in classrooms for enhancing the sound of automatic gunfire leading to some pupils thinking they have been shot more than once, which is often the case.

And rifle experts insist with more silencers in place, the only resulting noise pollution would be a series of gentle thuds as bodies drop to the ground.

NRA spokesperson Simon Williams said, “There will always be some residual screaming, but that’s more down to an individual’s reaction to being pumped full of lead, which we can’t address with legislature.

“Additionally, the gun owners responsible for indiscriminate murder often suffer permanent hearing damage as a result of their actions.

“Seriously any dude wielding an Uzi will look like a total dick wearing a deaf-aid.

“Clearly, there is a lot of muddled thinking surrounding the issue.”

Williams says anyone wanting to lend their weight to the campaign can sign a petition at www.KillingMeNiceAndQuietly.com

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