Wednesday 9 March 2016 by Waylandsmithy

Queen ‘doesn’t recall’ ever taking Nick Clegg seriously


Queen doesn't remember taking Nick Clegg seriously

Despite claims that the Queen lectured Nick Clegg about leaving the EU, the Palace has denied that her Majesty ever treated the deputy PM as an adult.

“Her Royal Highness does remember giving a little man something to carry,” read a statement from the Palace.

“But she assumed it was David Cameron’s fag.”

Clegg also dismissed the claims as ‘nonsense’, although he did insist that the Sovereign had promised to take him to Disneyland if he ‘sat nice and quietly’.

“In my role as deputy prime minister, I had to visit the Palace on a regular basis,” said Clegg.

“Because Mr Cameron wasn’t supposed to leave me in his car.”

The Queen is famously supposed to stay neutral on political matters, in case voters are swayed by the opinions of a batty old woman.

“Her Majesty is always careful not to air her personal opinions,” said a spokesman.

“She knows that if the public ever thought she took Clegg seriously, there’d be a revolution within the hour.”

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