Wednesday 9 March 2016 by DavyWavy

Kanye West pre-emptively banned by John Lewis


Kanye West

Rapper Kanye West has been pre-emptively banned by John Lewis under their ‘no screaming children’ rule.

The expensive shop for rather nice people hit the headlines when they asked for a toddler having a red-faced tantrum to be removed from the store, and they have decided to save time by telling Kanye West not to bother either.

West, who is reported to have had a platinum adult pram specially made to make it easy for him to throw his toys out of it on a regular basis, responded to the ban by having an epic tantrum, ironically enough.

“It’s unlikely that John Lewis sells anything which would attract Kanye, but we decided not to take that risk,” a store spokesman told us.

“We don’t stock gold-plated microphones, and his wife won’t be interested in our clothes department us as she doesn’t seem to wear any.

“Still, in the interests of our other customers, better safe tha-.”

He was then interrupted by a visibly agitated West, but stormed into the press conference to announce “Imma let you finish, but Morrisons do the best Pork Pies of all time”.

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