Tuesday 8 March 2016 by Gary Stanton

Wills and Kate release photos of shitty fortnight in Rhyl


Royal family holiday

Prince William and his wife Kate have published the official photos of their first family holiday to North Wales shit hole, Rhyl.

The snaps include one of William holding Prince Charlotte and another in which Prince George emerges triumphant from an altercation with a local youth at the Sun Centre.

Princess Charlotte was born in May last year, while Prince George is two – a whopping twenty-six in lizard years.

The pictures will delight those who think the Royals are shape-shifting parasites, shamelessly leeching off the taxpayer while paying none themselves.

Royal Correspondent, John Goodier, said, “Unfortunately, there are no delightful shots of the children playing in the snow as it pissed down for two weeks solid.

“This was their first holiday as a family of four and the first time either of the children had stayed in a leaky and, frankly, dangerous caravan.”

Sadly, the Royals were forced to cut their holiday short after Prince George injected himself with heroin from a carelessly discarded syringe.

The fortnight-long Hoseasons break is an attempt to show solidarity with the British public, who haven’t enjoyed a decent holiday since the Queen Mum pegged it.

Goodier added, “Better Rhyl than showing sheer contempt for their fellow countrymen by fucking off to Klosters for a month-long skiing holiday.

“Oh, hang on.”

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