Tuesday 8 March 2016

Weekly alcohol limit consumed whilst reading article on weekly alcohol limits


Weekly alcohol limit

You have consumed the recommended weekly alcohol intake for adults in the time it’s taken you to read this article, according to sources this evening.

Research shows that the wine glass in your hand has been refilled several times already, and continues to do so as the weekly limit disappears into your rear view mirror.

You join 2.5 million Brits who consume their weekly alcohol allowance in a single sitting, though few manage it as quickly as you do.

Reader Simon Williams told us, “It says here that millions of people drink their weekly amount of alcohol in just one day, that’s outrageous.

“I haven’t got to the bit about who actually conducted the research yet, as I had to go to the kitchen to open another bottle.”

Experts predict that by the time you get to the end of this particular sentence, you’re already dipping into next week’s alcohol allowance.

Williams concluded, “Sod it, all I read these days are warning about my drinking, I think it’s time I finally stopped.

“Reading, that is.”

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