Tuesday 8 March 2016 by Lucas Wilde

Paloma Faith apologises for everything up until this point


Paloma Faith

Paloma Faith has finally said sorry for all the things she’s done.

Following the revelation the the “singer” had arranged for a contestant on “The Voice” to go to the next round, viewers demanded an apology.

“Not just for that, mind you,” said viewer, Simon Williams.

“The Rugby song, all of her albums and just the way she is in general. None of that can be allowed to pass.

“The kind of contrition that Bill Clinton showed after doing that thing he did in the 90s will suit us just fine.”

Paloma Faith’s agent said “Paloma is extremely sorry for all that she’s done.”

“She will be appearing on national television just after Eastenders in order to deliver a full and frank apology, which will involve no singing, giggling or any other facets of who she is.

“It will be like you’re watching a sad puppet.

“Better,” concluded Williams.

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