Monday 7 March 2016 by Formelia Alberthine

The Muppets launch defamation case following Steve McClaren comparison


Steve McClaren

The Muppets are set to launch defamation proceedings against a number of Newcastle United fans after they were compared to Steven McClaren on social media.

Several Twitter users are expected to face legal action after defaming the absurdist troupe of puppets in a series of tweets following Newcastle’s Premier League defeat to Bournemouth, which likened manager McClaren to a ‘muppet’.

Appointed Muppet spokesman, Gonzo, said suggestions of similarities to the former England manager were deeply offensive.

He told reporters, “We are apoplectic at the volume of Steve McClaren muppet analogies.

“We have spent our careers striving to provide entertainment to their adoring public.

“Yet the most entertaining thing this McClaren bloke has ever done is a terrible Dutch accent and that time he looked like a prick using an umbrella.”

“Well, unless you’re a Sunderland fan, in which case everything he does is funny.

“But we have our reputations to think about, and so we have instructed our lawyer to defend the good name of muppets everywhere.”

Newcastle fan Simon Williams expressed his concern that there are now very few names left that the fans can use to describe their manager.

“Calling him a ‘spineless, incompetent arsehole who inspires hatred amongst the people of Newcastle’ doesn’t work either.”

“Well, not unless we want a letter from George Osborne’s lawyer.”

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