Sunday 6 March 2016

Mothers Day breakfast in bed technically ‘edible’


Mother's Day breakfast in bed

Mother’s across the country have been treated to a breakfast in bed that could best be described as ‘almost certainly made of food’.

Mother’s Day celebrations have seen thousands of children who wouldn’t know how to open a packet of cereal actually ‘cooking’ for the person who gave birth to them.

8-year-old Jake Williams ‘cooked’ breakfast in bed for his mother this morning, under the supervision of his dad, Simon.

Jake explained, “Well, dad was watching the Match of the Day he recorded last night and said I could make whatever I like.”

“So Mum got a bowl containing a frozen waffle, a tomato and some smarties.”

“Yeah, she loved it – and she wanted me to definitely thank dad for all his help.”

Another mum said she’d been feeling a little ill since eating breakfast.

She explained, “I pushed that sod out of my vagina over twelve of the most painful hours of my life, and yet here I am looking a plate of dry weetabix and smothered in ketchup.”

“And he stands there waiting for me to eat every last disgusting bit of it.”

“I genuinely think I might have given birth to the child from The Omen.”

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