Thursday 3 March 2016 by Neil Tollfree

North Korea hit cow’s arse with banjo


Cows arse banjo

North Korea’s defence ministry has announced that it has successfully hit a cow’s arse with a banjo.

The hitting of a cow’s arse with a banjo represents a significant technological step forward for the state who only hours before managed to hit the ocean with a rocket.

US President Barack Obama condemned the development labelling it ‘provocative’ and calling for the North Korean Government to ‘abandon all further attempts to hit any animal’s posteriors with musical instruments’.

However, Pyongyang insists that its cow’s arse/banjo programme is entirely scientific in nature, and hitting a cow’s arse with a banjo is the right of all sovereign nations.

The new development has been expected by seasoned North Korea watchers.

“Yeah, we did have an idea they were working on hitting a cow’s arse with a banjo,” said Korean expert Simon Williams.

“But we didn’t realise how far along they were with the technology, I guess we thought that they might be ready to hold a big parade for the banjo, but we figured that actually successfully hitting a cow’s arse with it was still a few months away.

“We’re hoping they just got lucky, and they won’t actually be able to hit a cow’s arse with a banjo with any kind of regularity.”

South Korea has responded by moving all cows away from the border ‘as a precaution’.

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