Wednesday 2 March 2016

Twelve year-old with moustache extremely keen to keep tackling in school rugby


Moustache wearing 12 year old

Moustache wearing twelve year-old Jake Williams has said tackling is an essential part of rugby and should definitely be retained in all school matches.

Williams, who it seems hit puberty at eight years of age, claims that tackling is ‘the best bit’, and that he’s really good at it.

Williams spoke out after 70 doctors and academics called for a ban on tackling in rugby matches, claiming that injuries from this “high-impact collision sport” can have lifelong consequences for children.

However Williams told reporters, “Rugby is a brilliant sport in which I can run right through those kids from computer club and still be congratulated by the PE teacher.

“There is nothing quite like the exhilaration of mowing down one of those geeks in top set maths as if they were made of tissue paper.

“No, rugby doesn’t need changing at all.”

Straight A student and small for his age Daniel Matthews told us, “Being tackled by Jake is like being hit by a bus, but our PE teacher says it’s character building to be repeatedly pummelled into the ground by someone miles bigger than you.

“I don’t see why, unless you’re telling me that grown-ups spend their lives being repeatedly beaten down by people more powerful than them, and that the rules say it is allowed, and that you can’t get out of it even with a sicknote?”

“Oh.”

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