Tuesday 1 March 2016

Night in German prison best part of Ryanair journey, confirms stag party


Ryanair flight diverted due to stag party

A stag party that caused a Ryanair flight to be diverted has claimed their night in a german prison was by far the most luxurious aspect of their entire trip.

The flight from Luton to Bratislava was diverted to Berlin after members of the stag party waved their genitals around in a desperate attempt to escape the miserable conditions onboard.

As one member of the stag party explained, “The choice was another couple of hours on a Ryanair plane, or take your chances with the German authorities – and that’s really no choice at all.”

“We’d only been in the air for 90 minutes and already I was beginning to feel like Jack O’Connell in that film Unbroken, except I was pretty fucking broken.

“Especially after forgetting to print my boarding pass and finding out my bag was 1 cm too long for carry on, all before having contorting my six foot two frame into one of their ‘seats’.

“Escape was all I could think about, and at least in the German police cell I was able to stretch out, and the food – though pretty horrific – was free. Far better than paying ten quid for a soggy ham sandwich that has been traversing Europe for about three days.”

“Honestly, when compared to Ryanair I’d give that Berlin police station cell at least four stars.”

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