Monday 29 February 2016 by Davywavy

Donald Trump suffers 3rd degree posterior burns in unexplained pants fire


Donald Trump, pants on fire

Donald Trump is reported to be ‘stable and recovering’ after suffering 3rd degree burns to the posterior in an unexplained pants fire.

Trump was rushed to hospital after his pants spontaneously combusted during a stump speech in which he insisted he had no knowledge of David Duke or the white supremacist movement.

Describing the event as a ‘complete mystery’ a spokesman for the Trump camp reassured voters that the worst that had happened was that Trumps skin was now a more natural shade of brown.

The pant blaze burned out of control for several minutes before being brought under control by a specialist political unit of the Fire Department, who later confirmed they ‘Get a lot of practice at this sort of thing’.

Speaking from his hospital bed, Trump blamed the event on “Losers, whiners, Islams, immigrants and Mario Rubio.”

The statement was followed by a peculiar ‘Whoooomf’ noise and a cry of “Dammit, there they go again!”

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