Sunday 28 February 2016 by Davywavy

Father Jack Hackett reported dead again


Father Jack dead

Father Jack Hackett has been reported dead for the 17th time today.

The Craggy Island priest is believed to have died after drinking a bottle of Windowlene before being accosted by a nun, but he’s got us like that before.

Residents of the Craggy Island parochial house are reported to be reluctant to investigate as Father Jack is still sitting in The corner of the living room and holding a brick.

Father Ted Crilly is understood to have considered asking his junior, Dougal McGuire, to make sure Jack is dead, but then had second thoughts because he could see that going horribly wrong.

Mrs Doyle has declined to offer Father Jack a cup of tea after what he said the last time she did that.

After discussion, all parties have agreed the best thing to do is simply to let Jack stay sitting in his favourite armchair, forever.

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