Friday 26 February 2016 by Lucas Wilde

‘What’s a Caucus?’ asks everyone


Confused man doesn't know what a caucus is

Nobody actually knows what a caucus is, according to reports this morning.

Following recent news that Donald Trump has won several caucuses, and that Bernie Sanders has won a couple and Hillary Clinton has as well, everyone has now admitted that they don’t know what these people have won.

“It’s like a big hill, isn’t it?” offered newsreader, Simon Williams, “and whoever has won the most votes from the people living on that hill, or ‘caucus’, gets to go and stick their flag on top of it.

“Then they count up the flags when all the caucuses have voted and whoever has the most flags wins and gets to run for President.

“Yeah, yeah that’s definitely it.”

Local person, Elizabeth King, said “I always thought it was a vegetable.”

“You know, like at county fairs, if you guess the weight of the marrow then you win it.

“This is like that, but with people guessing what Americans want, rather than what vegetables weigh, but the winner still gets to take home a ‘caucus’, which is like a marrow only more moist.”

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