Friday 26 February 2016 by DavyWavy

Satire writers declare a tragedy as Tokyo Sexwale withdraws FIFA Presidential bid


Unhappy man

Satire writers are in mourning this afternoon after Tokyo Sexwale withdrew his application to be named head of FIFA.

Marking the occasion with a few token references to ‘withdrew’ and ‘head’, writers of Internet humour turned to drink to dull the pain of losing Sexwale as a prominent public figure.

“He was God’s gift to comedy,” sobbed an obviously distraught gag-wrangler Simon Williams.

“I had so many headlines lined up – ‘Sexwale probed’, ‘Sexwale scores’, ‘Sexwale asserts his authority’.

“All gone now. Lost, like tears in the rain.”

The leading candidate for head of FIFA is now the Bahraini Prince Sheikh Salman Bin Ibrahim Al-Khalifa, who is accused of kidnapping and torturing those who disagree with him.

FIFA insiders say this makes him an ‘ideal match’ for the top job, as it matches the principles of the organisation laid out by Sepp Blatter.

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