Tuesday 23 February 2016

Scientists uncover link between fascist tendencies and tiny genitals

farage smoking

Scientists have revealed that new research has shown a direct link between a man having fascist tendencies and him suffering from a tiny penis.

With the release of Hitler’s medical records, experts how have conclusive proof that espousing extreme right-wing opinions can be the direct result of genital deformation.

Researcher Simon Williams explained, “So far 100% of the fascist penises in the study have been abnormally small, which by itself is merely indicative of a trend.

“But every right-wing nutjob we’ve approached has been less than keen for us to take a look inside their pants, which is more proof, if it were needed, that fascists have tiny penises.

“We should have sympathy for people leading organisations like Britain First, the EDL and UKIP – yes, their opinions are generally pretty abhorrent, but they’re also fighting the stigma that micropenis makes you ‘less of a man’.

“It’s also true that smoking and drinking only exacerbate the micropenis issue, so if you find someone who sounds a bit fascisty, and is a big drinker and smoker, the chances are it’s like a budgie’s tongue.”

We asked UKIP’s Paul Nuttall for comment, and perhaps a look at his penis, before he told us, “No.

“And you can shut up, I’ll have you know it’s like a baby’s arm.

“A white, British born, indigenous baby, obviously.”

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