Friday 19 February 2016 by Neil Tollfree

Right Said Fred singer finally able to wear his shirt after sexiness reduction procedure


Right Said Fred sexiness reduction

Medical advances have seen Right Said Fred singer Richard Fairbrass undergo a specialised procedure to reduce his sexiness to normal levels and allow him finally to wear his shirt.

Mr Fairbrass’ problems began in the early nineties when he woke up one morning to find that he was too sexy for his shirt, the condition worsened throughout the day until he became so sexy it hurt.

“It was a difficult time for me,” said the considerably less sexy singer.

“I couldn’t travel to either Milan, New York or Japan, which was a problem, because I was a model, you know what I mean?”

The condition deteriorated further with Mr Fairbrass becoming too sexy for his cat, his hat and his car, leading to tremendously embarrassing scenes at his local petrol station.

“I’m just glad the nightmare is finally over,” said a tearful Mr Fairbrass.

“Not being able to wear your own shirt or stroke your own cat because of your sexiness is a hell I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

“Now I’m looking forward to living out the rest of my life wearing a shirt and not being remotely sexy.

“Like all other British men.”

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