Wednesday 17 February 2016 by Neil Tollfree

King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table to headline Glastonbury ‘Legends’ stage


Glastonbury headliners

The organisers of Glastonbury festival have announced that the ‘Legends’ slot will be filled by King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table.

“We’re thrilled to have secured both King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table,” said Emily Eavis yesterday.

“We’re not exactly sure what the nature of the show will be, but I understand it will either be a live action spectacular featuring a dragon-slaying and pulling a sword from a stone, or a load of punk and post-punk cover versions.”

The King Arthur announcement will bring to an end the speculation regarding the Legend stage with William Tell, Robin Hood and several Norse gods all at one point rumoured to be playing.

King Arthur himself declared himself thrilled.

“Forsooth, for it is joy beyond compare to find myself returning the Tor of Glastonbury,” said the popular fictional King.

“With my loyal Knights by my side, we shall surely triumph in whatever trials face.

“Except Sir Lancelot of course, the treacherous wife-stealing little shit.

It is understood that the Knights will be on-stage on Sunday tea-time, the traditional stage time for the Glastonbury legends stage.

“The time of tea on our day of the Lord is a splendid time indeed,” agreed King Arthur.

“And we’re all big Radiohead fans, so hopefully we’ll get to have a view beers and see them do their headline slot.”

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