Wednesday 17 February 2016 by Martin Hastie

3D printed body part breakthrough delayed by scientists repeatedly printing penises


Scientists 3D printed body parts

The incredible breakthrough in 3D printing live body parts could have been made years ago if scientists hadn’t wasted time printing thousands of cocks, experts say.

The technology and expertise to print 3D body parts has been available for at least a decade, but countless hours of laboratory time have been taken up waving around willies and shouting things like “check out the size of this bad boy”.

As one expert in bioengineering explained, “It’s embarrassing really. There haven’t been that many cocks under one roof since the last House of Commons debate on MPs giving themselves a pay rise.”

“I suppose boys will be boys, but it probably went a bit too far.”

“Once, someone actually blocked the printer with a particularly massive dong – what’s worse, that wasn’t even one of the ones we’d printed; it was his own.”

Hopes are high for the new equipment, but there are still complications to be ironed out – the first being how to detach a penis that was grafted onto one of the researcher’s heads on a stag do in Blackpool last week.

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