Sunday 14 February 2016 by Spacey

Valentine’s Day panic as petrol stations announce chocolates and daffodils shortage


Petrol station valentines

Panicked male motorists in search of a last-minute Valentine’s Day gift have been urged to remain calm after petrol stations announced that supplies of chocolates and flowers are running desperately low.

Queues of anxious men began to form outside filling stations at 7.00 this morning, with some announcing they’d nothing left apart from Revels by 7.30.

A spokesman for the Petrol Retailers Association insisted that filling stations still have plenty on offer this Valentine’s Day.

“Why not show her how much you care with a scratchcard or some kindling, maybe you could surprise her with a delicious breakfast in bed.

“What better way to start the day than with a microwaveable burger and a can of Red Bull?”

Garage forecourts across the UK are heaving with exasperated men in search of what they consider to be an adequate gesture.

“I told the wife I was popping out to pick up her surprise,” revealed one romantically challenged motorist.

“To be fair, she will be surprised when she sees I’ve bought her some charcoal briquettes, a Ginsters pasty and some breakfast cereal.

“Go-Cat is breakfast cereal, right?”

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