Scientists around the world have confirmed the discovery of shockwaves in the fabric of spacetime caused by the destruction of a ‘moon-sized’ space station a billion years ago.
The discovery confirms predictions made by the Standard Model of physics in 1977, and is being described as the “way coolest scientific discovery of the century”.
Physicists confirmed that if the Death Star destruction theory had been disproved it would have brought everything they like to think about the universe crashing down.
“The event occurred a long time ago and far, far away,” confirmed Obi-Simon Williams, speaking for CERN.
“At first we thought it was just some boring old Black Holes crashing into each other or some crap like that, but analysis of the data clearly shows a TIE Fighter spinning away from the cataclysm.
“We detected a brief flare of protons, possibly from torpedoes, followed by a heck of bang which was so intense it disrupted spacetime to an extent it could be detected billions of years later.
“Isn’t that cool?”
Researchers now intend to focus their efforts on tracking down the mysterious Dark Matter, which they describe as “surrounding and penetrating us, and binding the universe together,” although critics of the theory describe it as a hokey religion.