Monday 8 February 2016 by Neil Tollfree

Ant and Dec no longer able to tell which one is which


Ant and Dec

Tragic TV funnymen Ant and Dec have revealed that they are no longer able to tell each other apart.

“It’s a nightmare,” said one of them, yesterday. Possibly Ant.

“I spent the entire day yesterday thinking I was the other one. I think. Or maybe it’s yesterday that I was actually me, and today that I’m confused and think that I’m the other one. I just don’t know any more.”

Whichever one that was, then broke down in sobs.

The problems began earlier this year when the ‘Byker Grove’ Geordie charmers found themselves having to call each other ‘Ant or Dec’ in public to avoid any potential embarrassment.

The problem got worse when Ant or Dec spent a week with the other one’s parents and no one noticed anything was wrong.

It is understood that they have now reached a point where, at a basic biological level, either one of them could be the other one.

It is not the first time this has happened to a popular duo, with Dollar, the Chuckle Brothers and the Blair and Brown all, at some point in their careers, interchangeable.

Ant or Dec and Ant or Dec will be releasing ‘Let’s get ready to rumble’ for the forty-third time to raise money for research into their condition.

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