Monday 8 February 2016 by DavyWavy

American Football fans warned against dangerous excitement of watching cricket


Cricket excitement

American Football fans have been warned off cricket as they might find it too exciting this morning.

Doctors are concerned that fans of Gridiron might find cricket ‘too thrilling’ and suffer heart attacks from the nerve-shreddingly fast paced game.

Cricket, the only sport with a tea-break, is regarded as too dangerously fast-moving and adrenaline-fuelled for people who watched last night’s Super Bowl.

Although spectators are known to doze off during test cricket, medical experts have warned this might cause undue stress to people enthralled by a game whose highlight was a performance by Coldplay.

In order to prevent Denver Broncos fans being overwhelmed by the comparatively lightning-quick play, cricket authorities are planning several changes to the rules including taking advert breaks between every ball, and asking players to walk rather than run when they get a hit.

In other sports news, Manchester United have pledged to make their playing style slower and less interesting in a bid to attract fans away from the NFL.

Reports from the United States indicate that the Super Bowl halftime show has just entered its second day.

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