Thursday 4 February 2016 by Neil Tollfree

Yahoo still exists


Yahoo

The CEO of Yahoo held a press conference yesterday to demonstrate to the world that Yahoo still exists and is still relevant.

“Yahoo is still here, and still the best place for all your World Wide Web needs,” said Marissa Mayer, Yahoo’s CEO.

“What I would ask you to do is point your Netscape Navigator browser at Yahoo.com and you’ll be amazed at what Yahoo can do for you.”

There was a brief pause in the presentation as Ms Mayer’s monitor warmed up

“Why not search for something or, as we like to say, ‘Yahoo’ something. All you need to do is enter a phrase into the ‘Yahoo’ box up here to the right of today’s horoscope, just underneath the Australian stock market tracker, and above the RSS feed of CNN’s agricultral news.

“You can literally ‘Yahoo’ anything, from Eminem’s latest CD, to Buffy the Vampire Slayer or even look for full colour stills from hit movie Titanic, although they take a while to download.”

Ms Mayer proceeded to demonstrate Yahoo’s capability to send and receive email without having a dedicated email client on your PC, and to personalise your own Yahoo portal so that your name appears in the corner of the screen.

“So yes, we’re having some difficult times, but Yahoo is here to stay,” she concluded.

“Just Google ‘Yahoo’ and you’ll be – no, wait…shit.”

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