Thursday 4 February 2016

Donald Trump nominated for Nobel Piece of Shit Prize


Donald Trump Nobel Prize

Republican presidential hopeful Donald Trump has been nominated for the Nobel Piece of Shit prize, given annually to the largest stain on the underpants of humanity.

His nomination will see him compete against pieces of shit such as Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi and Martin Shkreli.

Nobel Organisation spokesperson Simon Williams explained, “There is a strong case to be made that the biggest piece of shit this year has been the man leading ISIS in their terror campaigns, or the guy who tried to profiteer from the suffering of AIDS victims – but Donald Trump has a really good chance.

“What with his Mexican wall and claims Mexicans are all rapists and criminals, to his plan to ban Muslims from the US, no-one has done more to make the human race worse this year than Donald Trump.

“The most impressive part of his performance this year is the way he’s convinced millions of Americans that being a piece of shit is something to be proud of.

“Even the guy from ISIS can only do that to a few thousand people at a time.”

US Republicans have welcomed Trump’s nomination, claiming it is recognition of his attempts to bring Republican values to the world at large.

American voter Chuck Goldberg explained, “Look, you can all say what you like about Donald Trump, but the sooner he has the nuclear launch codes in his pocket, the better for all concerned.”

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