Wednesday 3 February 2016 by Daniel Hopkins

Man offended by claims he is easily offended


Man offended by accusations of being easily offended

A London man has become incredibly offended by claims from friends that he becomes offended too easily.

Simon Barber, 34, was left fuming at a party when a light-hearted joke spun into anger, after he took it completely the wrong way.

When a friend told him “you get offended too easily” to the collective nods of friends, Simon launched into a rage.

He tore into his friends and cited their complete lack of empathy as the reason why they were “bloody shite friends”.

When one friend put an arm on his shoulder in an attempt to calm him, Simon pushed him back down on his seat and shouted, “Don’t fucking touch me, I can’t believe you just said that! Don’t look at me ever again.”

Barber went on to say that they all just hated him and had it out for him, as well as using him for the butt of their jokes. He promised that he would never see them, ever again.

One witness, Michael Harvard, 32, explained, “Simon just completely blew his top for no reason at all. He was offended because we said he gets offended too easily after he became offended by a joke we made. It’s a cycle of offence. If we could harness the energy behind his righteous indignation we’d be millionaires.”

When asked what the joke was, Harvard replied, “Someone asked him for a haircut, what with his surname being Barber and all.

“The funny thing is he actually is a barber, so the situation was completely unneeded. The boring, unfunny sod”.

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