Wednesday 3 February 2016 by DavyWavy

If there’s one thing everyone respects it’s a bad loser, insists Trump


Donald Trump

Donald Trump has outlined his plan to win voter’s respect by being a really bad loser after his defeat in Iowa.

After angrily claiming that Ted Cruz cheated to steal the Iowa nomination, Trump went on to tell his supporters that you can totally trust a sore loser with the nuclear launch codes.

A true colossus of the world stage would earn the sincere respect of other countries by telling them that not letting him win isn’t fair, and he would say bad things about them on Twitter until they declared him the winner instead.

Vladimir Putin would totally fall into line if that happened, Trump added.

“Ted Cruz LIED and CHEATED to win the Iowa Caucus, and if they don’t hold it again so I win I’ll hold my breath until I turn blue,” Trump told his 6 million Twitter followers.

“If that’s what it takes for me to win for America, then I’ll do it.

“Because winning is what matters, even if you didn’t win. Which I did anyway, even though I didn’t.”

Ted Cruz was unavailable for comment on Trump’s comments, as according to aides he had just laughed coffee out of his nose.

SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon has unexpectedly come out in support of Trump’s position, as she agrees with the principle that votes should be held and held again until you get your own way.

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