Saturday 30 January 2016 by Neil Tollfree

PM ‘relaxed’ about Theresa May sleeping in tomb


Theresa May sleeps in a tomb

The Prime Minister has revealed that he has no problem with Home Secretary Theresa May sleeping in an old stone tomb deep within in the dusty cobweb draped catacombs beneath the House of Commons.

“Theresa May is an extremely capable Home Secretary,” said Mr Cameron.

“If she finds comfort sleeping amongst the dead, then I don’t think that’s any concern of mine.”

The revelation about Ms May’s unusual nocturnal habits were revealed when a request was put into the House of Commons IT department to extend the wi-fi to reach deep down into the tombs.

“Yeah, it was weird,” said IT support operative Simon Williams.

“We had this request for wi-fi in the tombs so I went down there and immediately there was this really creepy feeling, right?

“Like I was being observed by something ancient and malignant and evil, but then I looked round and it was just the Home Secretary in a nightie lying in this tomb.

“After I removed my crucifix, I went over and had a look at her blackberry and could see the problem immediately; we’d put in wi-fi down there ten years ago for Michael Howard, right? But he’d changed the password, so I reset that and she was fine.”

Whilst the Prime Minister is prepared to tolerate Ms May sleeping in a tomb, it is understood he has drawn a line against her hanging upside down from the rafters during PMQs.

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