Tuesday 26 January 2016 by Andrew

God defends decision to add Cecil Parkinson as heavenly supergroup’s keyboard player


Cecil Parkinson on keyboards in heavenly supergroup

God has today defended his controversial decision to add Cecil Parkinson as a keyboard player to his new heavenly supergroup.

The Almighty has recently recruited Lemmy on bass, Glenn Frey on guitar, David Bowie on vocals and Specials drummer John Bradbury, but has said that he definitely meant to bring in the ex-Conservative Party Chairman on keyboards, saying that he was looking for a ‘new sound’.

When questioned by music journalists, the omniscient deity stated that no, he definitely didn’t mean Dave Parkinson who played keyboards for the Happy Mondays, or Ian Parker who played keyboards for Clannad and The Hollies, or even multi-instrumentalist Alan Parsons.

“I meant Cecil Parkinson. Definitely.”

Asked to name his favourite album by the former cabinet minister, God replied, “The Rise and Fall of the Secretary of State for Trade and Industry and the Spiders from Mars? Or maybe The Man Who Sold His Soul?”

God’s son Jesus, who was overseeing the first rehearsal, a fusion of heavy metal, AOR, glam rock, ska and samples of the minutes of a recent meeting of the 1922 Committee, hinted that a mix-up might have occurred when his father heard that Parkinson loved banging away on the Keays and was a master at putting on the writs.

Lemmy, however, has defended Parkinson’s addition to the line-up, citing the former Secretary of State for Transport’s unacknowledged love-child as being “Very rock’n’roll – even I never did that”.

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