Tuesday 26 January 2016

Giant company guilty of acting like bastards


Tesco acting like bastards

A giant business has been found guilty of acting like a total shit to the people who supply it.

Tesco have admitted that they decided not to pay suppliers on time in order to make their own financial situation look better to the stock market and to shareholders.

A spokesperson for Tesco explained, “Big business is very complicated and so I wouldn’t expect you to understand, but just because someone supplies us with goods doesn’t mean we have to pay for them when we say we will.”

“That would be incredibly naive, and is no way to run a multi-billion pound enterprise.

“You don’t get to the size we have reached, and make the sort of profits we enjoy, by keeping promises, honouring contracts and being nice people to do business with.”

“The deal is this; You get cheap beans, and we get massive houses and bonuses – so everyone’s happy.”

“Well, everyone except the poor buggers in the middle who make the stuff you actually buy from us – but who cares about them – look, cheap beans!”

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