Wednesday 20 January 2016 by Lucas Wilde

Raving lunatic receives Republican endorsement from pouting simpleton


Palin endorses Trump

A borderline simpleton has endorsed a dangerous lunatic for the Republican presidential nomination.

Donald Trump has been told by former Governor of Alaska come natural enemy of intellect and the moose, Sarah Palin, that she thinks he would be dead good at being in charge of America.

“Wonderful news,” grinned Trump campaign manager, Simon Williams.

“Just as we thought we couldn’t resonate any further with the kind of gun-toting, racist simpleton that you wouldn’t trust with a pair of blunt scissors, their bloody Queen pipes up.

“Honestly, assuming that America is exactly like the rest of the world thinks it is, we’ve got this one in the bag – much like Sarah has when she goes hunting for adorable baby bears.”

“Donald was delighted when he heard the news; he did that weird smiley thing that most people do when they’ve just farted in front of someone who might find it funny.”

“Then he had a Mexican wipe his arse for him, which is his favoured method of celebration, as well as masturbatory aid.”

Sarah Palin is expected to join Donald Trump on-stage for a rally in Iowa; a state which today set a world record for the biggest number of last-minute holidays booked in a single day.

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