Wednesday 20 January 2016 by Lucas Wilde

Academy to introduce ‘Best Negro’ Oscar category


Oscars for black people

Next year’s Oscars will seek to end the almighty bru-ha-ha concerning the lack of recognition for black actors.

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences will present the “Best Negro” award to the black actor who has been the best at being black that year.

“It’s the best we could think of,” shrugged academy member, Simon Williams.

“Some people have suggested that we could simply expand our cultural horizons and maybe give more consideration to the performances of black actors, but honestly that sounds like an awful lot of thinking, and you’re talking to the people that didn’t give Shawshank Redemption the Best Picture award.

“So instead we’re going to make an award that a black person can win by default, which definitely fixes the problem.

“Sorry? Oh the name; no, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with ‘negro’, is there? I say it to my valet all the time and he’s never said a word; and good thing too or he’d be out on his ass.

“I guess I’ll have to actually watch a couple of movies with black people in, which might not be all bad; that Robert Downey Jr was awfully good in Tropic Thunder, for instance.”

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