Thursday 14 January 2016

Britain at Noel Edmonds capacity


Noel Edmonds full

A survey of British residents showed that millions of people feel there is absolutely no room for any more Noel Edmonds, and the one we do have should go back to where he came from.

Simon Williams told us, “I tried to watch television the other day, but I couldn’t because Noel Edmonds was on it – does nobody else think the entertainment industry is full?”

“I just don’t think we have room for all this Noel Edmonds.  Everywhere I go there is more Noel Edmonds – newspapers, magazines, even the radio every now and again.”

“It’s not that I particularly dislike Noel Edmonds, and I feel for him, I really do, it’s just that there’s now too much of him and we can’t cope with it.”

Another respondent who wished to remain nameless told us, “I know it’s an unpopular view, but I think we should send him back. No, I don’t know where from, or how we’d do it – just get rid of him.”

“He wears weird clothes, is always taking strange phone calls and has a beard, couldn’t we just claim he’s a terrorist?”

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