Thursday 7 January 2016 by Neil Tollfree

Shock at poor quality biscuits on training course


Biscuits on training course

‘Express Training’ in Tewksbury has been slammed by its attendees for the shocking quality of biscuits provided.

“The course was interesting, and Cath, the tutor, was good fun and really knew her stuff,’ said Beryl Duckpond on the mandatory course evaluation form.

“But, to be honest, the free biscuits weren’t very good at all. There was only a few chocolate ones, and they went very quickly. By the time I’d got my tea, the only biscuits left were these funny soft ones with bits in them.

“I ate forty-two.”

It is not the first time that Express Training has been criticised for their biscuits, in 1998 they were embroiled in a broken biscuit scandal that saw several members of the board forced to resign, and in 2004 they were found guilty of putting cheap ‘value’ biscuits into a Waitrose branded biscuit tin.

“Obviously, it’s disappointing to receive this sort of feedback,” said company spokesperson Simon Williams.

“But I think it’s important to stress that there have been no suggestion of impropriety, all Mrs Duckpond was doing was pointing out the biscuits weren’t to her taste.”

However, despite Mr Williams’ protestations biscuits smuggled out of Express Training’s offices have been independently tested and found to be ‘shit’.

Express Training’s board has been remanded into custody and the CPS are currently deciding whether or not to prosecute.

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: