Thursday 7 January 2016 by Lucas Wilde

Former Labour shadow ministers enter Celebrity Big Brother house


Celebrity Big Brother

The Labour MPs who resigned in protest over Jeremy Corbyn’s shadow cabinet reshuffle are heading for the Celebrity Big Brother house.

The three men decided to take part in the tedious shower of shite after leaving their positions as people-who-would-like-to-run-some-government-departments-one-day.

“It’s quite a coup for us,” beamed show producer, Simon Williams.

“Nobody knows who these guys are, so they’ll fit right in.

“Everyone is really looking forward to watching Jonathan Reynolds attempting to explain the benefits of a nationalised rail service to ‘Ex on the beach’ star, Megan McKenna.

“It’s going to be great telly by the standards of the show, and absolutely dreadful by every other standard that has ever existed.”

The three MPs were convinced to go into the house by a chuckling George Osborne, who assumed the show was actually based on George Orwell’s novel, “1984”, and that the men would be tortured in Room 101.

“Although it turns out the reality is actually far more disturbing,” said a Tory spokesperson, “so George is still cackling away like a lunatic.”

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