Wednesday 6 January 2016 by Lucas Wilde and Dave Parton

Sunni and Shia forces to record cover of Sonny and Cher’s ‘I’ve Got You, Babe’


Sonny Cher

Sunni and Shia Muslims in the Middle East have agreed to a temporary cease-fire to record a charity single.

The opposing forces agreed to lower weapons for 48 hours while recording an inferior cover version of Sonny and Cher’s “beloved” “classic” I’ve Got You, Babe.

“It’s a promising sign, albeit odd,” admitted Defence Minister, Simon Williams.

“If we’d known they would temporarily reconcile over sounding phonetically similar to Sonny and Cher, we probably wouldn’t stress so much over a resolution.

“I’m glad they’ve found a way to co-exist for a bit, though I fully expect the actual single to be fucking awful.

Sunni fighter Sadiq Al-Shaquille-O’Neal said, “It’s a no-brainer when you think about it.

“Sunni sounds like Sonny, so we’ll do his bit, and Shia sounds like Cher, so they will do her bit, because it’s all girly just like all of them when they’re fighting.

“We haven’t decided which charity to donate to yet. I think we’re all a little hesitant to bring it up; much like Sonny and Cher, we have a bit of a history of disagreeing with each other and we’ve all had a drink.”

The single will be released at the beginning of March, by which point half of the people involved will have shot the shit out of each other for fairly rubbish reasons.

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