Tuesday 5 January 2016 by Luke Marlow

‘Corbyn Reshuffle’ to replace the Rumba on Strictly Come Dancing


Jeremy Corbyn

A new dance called the ‘Corbyn Reshuffle’ will be in the roster of dances for next year’s series of Strictly Come Dancing, according to sources today.

The move comes after the ‘shuffle’ gained sudden mass popularity and widespread media coverage,

The dance is believed to have originated in the North of Islington, whereby the leader takes a step to the left some time in the seventies, and the other dancer – who has inexplicably taken a large step to the right – refuses to follow.

We asked Strictly judge Bruno Tonioli for his thoughts on the new dance, but he just waved his arms around in the air a lot, and babbled something foreign-sounding.

“It appears,” explained non-dancer and for some reason dance competition judge Alesha Dixon, “that the dance ends with the leader either throwing their partner into the audience, or by shrugging his shoulders and mumbling about how it’s not about winning anyway.”

Other characteristics of the Reshuffle include the Leader trying and failing to stop their partner from dropping bombs on Middle Eastern countries, and the Leader refusing to sing along.

Other attempts to alter the roster of dances in Strictly include the attempt to replace the tango with the Farage Boogie, but this was later abandoned because of the high levels of immigration into the professional dance troupe on the show.

Farage quipped, “And I bet that Italian fellow is the one who unscrewed my wheels.”

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