Saturday 2 January 2016 by DavyWavy

Guns N’ Roses to reform in return for a great big pile of money


Guns N' Roses to reform

Legendary rock band Guns N’ Roses are to put aside their bitter differences in return for an enormous pile of money.

The original lineup of the band, who split under acrimonious differences in 1993, are reported to have realised that their original creative vision as a band is more important than petty disagreements, also cash.

The reunion is reported to have been driven by frontman Axl Rose receiving a surprisingly large gas bill and being skint after nobody bought Chinese Democracy.

Neither Rose nor Slash have ever given reasons for their falling out, although one persistent rumour suggests that Rose’s decision to spend twenty years turning into Mick Hucknall was instrumental.

The band’s accountants are looking forward to both calculating their half-year returns and reliving their youth at the same time.

Guns N’ Roses are expected to announce a world tour hours after they are supposed to, and have already warned fans the dates will slip.

Rolling Stones frontman Mick Jagger has wished the band luck, saying that only producing a couple of good albums is no reason you can’t have a stadium-filling career for the rest of your life.

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