Monday 28 December 2015 by Gary Stanton

War-torn Syria to welcome UK flood victims


UK flood, syrians

Syria has pledged to do its bit to help English families whose lives have been ruined by a bit of rain.

As pictures of the biblical Boxing Day floods were beamed across the Middle East, war victims and those pillaged by ISIS were thanking their lucky stars for their generous climate.

And UK-based Syrian migrants caught up in the floods have begged to return to their homeland to face the butcher Assad.

However some Syrians fear being swamped by a tidal wave of English migrants who refuse to learn Syrian and don’t play by their rules.

Syrian hellhole dweller, Saeed Al Willyamsi said,

“I’ve been waiting years for a council house and now there’s over three hundred English people queueing patiently behind me,

“It’s a disgrace.”

Friend Ali Faragi agreed:

”Any normal, fair-minded person would have a perfect right to be concerned if a group of English people with their polite manners suddenly moved into the bomb shelter next door.”

He also said that many UK migrants coming to Syria had been “forced into a life of crime” by “real poverty” in their own country.

In a rare turn of events, Islamic State last night offered to help English homosexuals escape the rising flood waters by providing them with room at the top of tall buildings.

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