Friday 18 December 2015 by Lucas Wilde

Morally corrupt Pharma Bastard begins transition to legally corrupt Pharma Bastard


Martin Shkreli arrested

A reprehensible wanker is working hard to be recognised as such in the eyes of the law.

Pharmaceutical boss, Martin Shkreli, earned public notoriety after taking a $13.50 life-saving medicine and hiking the price up in line with the value of a top-notch garden shed.

“And now he’s been arrested for fraud,” said spokesperson, Bob Shite-House, “one really has to admire his dedication to evil fuckery.

“Most people settle for just being regarded as an awful human being, but he seems pretty set on earning some kind of special badge from a judge.

“I’m tempted to put a tenner on him having shot Kennedy. Granted, I’ll only get sixteen quid back, but it’s a pretty safe bet at this rate.”

A spokesperson for Shkreli said, “Martin is keen to take his bastardry to the next level.”

“Bearing in mind there isn’t even a photo of him looking anything less than Satan, I think we’re in for a highly satisfying day, as are the public.”

Shkreli is not the first absolute shit to be formally recognised by the law; a Mr. Jeffrey Archer having done the same thing last century.

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