Thursday 17 December 2015 by Daniel Hopkins

Trump urges voters to feel their hate and join him on the dark side of the Force


Donald Trump The Force

Donald Trump made a defiant speech via hologram to America yesterday- urging them to let their hate flow through them and join him on the dark side of the Force.

Wearing black robes with the hood up, Trump discussed plans to make America an empire with himself at the helm, while anyone opposed to him would be hunted down and defeated.

Describing the Democrats as ‘rebels’ he said they would be crushed by the might of his Trump empire.

He once again expressed his desire to build a wall spanning the length of the US-Mexican border, and called the wall the “ultimate weapon” in the universe.

At one point an apparent apprentice of Trump stepped forward into view, with the man mostly obscured by a robe similar to that of the billionaire. Sporting nicotine stained teeth and a pint of bitter, the man broadly grinned with his tombstone teeth throughout much of Trump’s speech.

Trump briefly commented on the man, “This is my new apprentice, who I hope spreads my teachings across the pond.

“He has already had luck converting people to the dark side, but now it’s about time those votes became damn seats.”

Trump’s sudden anger seemed to startle the apprentice, who finished his pint and stepped back out of view.

Democrat and presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders watched from afar as Trump broadcast himself to the nation, surrounded by his Republican entourage.

Sanders observed of the recording studio, “You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.”

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