Thursday 17 December 2015 by Spacey

New Chelsea manager to be offered 45 minute rolling contract


New Chelsea manager

After the sacking of Jose Mourinho, the next Chelsea manager given a 45 minute rolling contract by the club’s owner, Roman Abramovich.

The contract will come with an option to extend to a full 90 minutes if they are winning at half time.

Former Barcelona boss Pep Guardiola is the bookies favourite to take charge for the first half of Chelsea’s next game, with Guus Hiddink lined up should his side be losing at half-time.

It is believed that the Russian billionaire will consider turning to former England manager Fabio Capello if the Chelsea end up losing the game.

Chelsea manager

A statement on the club’s website read, “We would like to offer Jose our gratitude for his efforts, but his inability to shit trophies everytime Mr Abramovich clicks his fingers means that he had to go.”

Pressure has been mounting on Mourinho and he appeared to have a difficult relationship with several of Chelsea’s senior players.

After Monday’s defeat against Leicester he said, “I am still the Special One, it’s just that as of today it’s a word more closely aligned with ‘needs’ than ‘forces’.”

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