Wednesday 16 December 2015 by Alex Webster

Not enough expert warnings, warn experts


Expert warnings

Society is suffering from a dangerous lack of expert warnings, according to experts this morning.

Simon Williams, Head of Warnings at Exeter Expert University warned yesterday, “Experts have always been there to warn plebs and ordinary folk about things they couldn’t possibly understand.

“However, some years ago my team of experts warned the government that too many expert warnings would damage the credence of experts and their warnings.

“It’s a case of ‘the expert that cried wolf’. Proliferation of experts and their warnings has meant the warnings of our experts has gone unheeded, not to mention the countless other experts and their warnings that we warned you about.”

A government minister has formed a taskforce known as Serious Warnings of Experts and Troublemakers (SWEAT) and had this to say, “The previous minister operated under a two warning system, which we have now replaced with an eight warning system.

“This is known as a ‘dawning’, or the minimum number of expert warnings we need before more experts are called in. But the system is overstretched. We’re getting an expert warning dawning every morning.”

Mr Williams concluded, “Our top experts have hit the thesaurus pretty hard and warned us to ‘urge caution’ or provide caveats instead.”

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