Friday 11 December 2015 by Neil Tollfree

Man pushed off Tube for being a suspicious colour whilst using an iPad


Muslim pushed off the Tube

London Tube passengers acted as one yesterday to remove from a tube train a man with a suspicious colour skin because he was using an iPad.

The incident happened on the Piccadilly Line near Finsbury Park yesterday.

“Yeah, I was on that train,” said smug racist Simon Williams.

“I looked up and saw a bloke using an iPad. I mean, at first I didn’t think anything of it. Everyone’s got an iPad now, right?

“But then it clicked, the bloke had brown skin, which is the scary colour skin.

“Well, by now a few other people had noticed this bloke, and his skin and that, so we all acted together to push him on to the platform.

“I think a couple of people called him names and that, so that was good.”

The incident is being seen as a tremendous blow to terroroists everywhere by profoundly stupid people.

“Hell yeah,” said Presidential hopeful and spectacular buffoon David Trump.

“I’d definitely shake those guys by the hand if I wasn’t too crippled by bigotry and fear to leave the nice middle-class bits of the US.”

Mr Williams and the other passengers appeared unrepentant when it transpired that the man had simply been playing Candy Crush Saga.

As Williams explained, “Yeah, he said that, but it could have been a terrorist version of Candy Crush.”

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