Thursday 10 December 2015 by Neil Tollfree

Couple ‘not doing Christmas cards this year’ thinks everyone gives a shit


Christmas cards

A Chelmsford couple are under the impression that people give a butcher’s toss about whether or not they send out Christmas cards this year.

Simon and Carol Williams posted the following message on Facebook earlier this week;

“Hi all, really sorry but we’re not doing the whole Christmas Card this year because we’re just sooooo mad busy. And because of the environment and everything.”

Reaction to their bombshell was swift.

“Who?” said neighbour Bill Wallace.

“Oh them. And they’re not sending Christmas cards, you say? Fair enough, not sure why they have to make a big deal about it though.”

Local traders expected to be untroubled by the Williamses decision.

“What, so some woman’s not going to buy any cards off me?” Said local trader Chris Greene.

“Literally couldn’t give a flying one mate.”

However digging further into the community we found scepticism.

“Environment my arse,” said an associate of the Williamses who wished to remain anonymous

“They’re just bone bloody idle. Seriously, I walk the dog past their place every Saturday and they’re just slumped on the sofa watching Strictly and eating cake.

“And you’re telling me they couldn’t use that time to write out a few cards? Miserable sods.”

A further post suggests Williamses may ‘donate something to charity’ instead of sending the cards, but there is still no evidence that anyone gives a two-bob-bit either way.

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